Eatlessmovemore’s Weblog

…honest to God, I hate AOL sooooo much right now! It’s just one round of incompetence after another, and I am sick to death of them and their crap customer *support*.

Following on from this post that I made back in April, I can’t believe that they (AOL) have screwed up again.

Having tried endless times to sign on this morning, I kept receiving an error message to say that I was unable to connect with AOL. (No shit, Sherlock?). Anyhow, after trying everything I could possibly think of, iE: Checking connection cables, and reinstalling the AOL adapter, I still wasn’t having any luck. As much as I hate contacting tech help, I HAD no other option.

After reaching tech help, and having explained the situation, I was then told that I needed to speak to *billing* and was promptly put through to the right department. On relaying the whole saga once again, I was then told that I needed to speak to *tech support*. Third time lucky, eh? Well, no. After being passed on to another 2 technicians, I was finally able to speak to some who could help me (supposedly). Grrrr.

Anyway, after explain the problem once again, I was surprised to discover that I was no longer a member of AOL having cancelled my account during our last phone chat back in April. What?

I tried explaining to the guy, that my call to AOL in April was merely a query over a billing error, and that I hadn’t asked to cancel my account. Besides, as I said to the tech guy, how is it possible for me to cancel my account when I am still under contract with them? This he couldn’t answer.

Incidentally, in my phone call to AOL in April, after I had finally sorted out the billing enquiry, when I next signed onto AOL, I had received an email from AOL to say that they were sorry that I was leaving them. Arrrhhh. Needless to say, I got straight back in touch with AOL, and was assured that this was just an error in communication and that my account would NOT be cancelled. Yeah. Right!

Honestly, I can’t tell you how pi$ed I am…

Apart from not being able to speak to someone English, and someone who can understand you, and can be understood themselves, no one seems to give a toss!

I was treated like an absolute incompetent idiot - as if ALL of this was my fault. I dunno, stuff like this really stresses me out for some reason and even now, I am still worried that things wont be rectified long term.

As I said above, I just hate AOL and I so wish that I hadn’t agreed to a further 18 month contract with them. Especially as I still have over a year to go

I was sooooo tempted to leave my account as it stood this morning. IE: Cancelled. Trouble is, I was worried that I would then get fined in some way for having backed out of the contract. There’s no way I could ask the tech guy this am because just 2 mins into the conversation, he had already lost total interest.

I don’t know. What am I to do….

On a lighter note, the folks nipped up to ASDA this AM and seeing as it was another scorcher, I hitched a ride with them and then walked back through the park with Muffin. Thoroughly enjoyable it was too! I just hope we get some fair weather next week. As I have an appointment at the hospital both Thursday and Friday, it would be great if I were able to walk back after each appointment. Still, we shall see.

As for this afternoon, I spent much of it sunbathing on the patio, trying to get some much needed colour to my skin. Trouble is, I NEVER use sun block, so no doubt I shall end up with a nose as red as a beacon tomorrow!

Nowt else planned for the rest of the weekend.

I think I shall just nip the dogs out for their last walk of the day, then the folks and I are going to have a game of Gin Rummy, Then I plan to get snuggly in bed with a couple of mags whilst I wait for a good film of Ch4. I’ve seen The Hole once before, but it’s such a good film that I can’t possibly resist watching it again.

That’s about all for now folks. Sorry for the whinge, but I just had to get it off my chest!

Just a quick note to let you know that I have now set up another WordPress blog. Although there’s very little content right now, I plan to use it for soley photographs. Having discovered the WordPress *Monotone Photoblogger Theme *. It’s absolutely ideal! You can read more about it HERE. Though you will have to scroll down the page a little

I know that most of you will have seen the first photo before, but as I said, I am just getting started. I plan to post more photos on a regular basis.

Well, that’s the plan

Anyway, here’s the link to my new site I Spy With My Little Eye…

Let me know what ya think

Huh, so much for me and my plans to walk back from ASDA earlier today! Whilst the folks were up and about getting themselves ready, I lay in bed *umming and ahhing* as to whether I could muster the energy to go with them. Needless to say, I talked myself out of it. The sun was already streaming through my curtains and it was stifling hot. Because of which, I then decided that it would be far too hot to attempt the long walk back and so I promptly went back to sleep. God. Such a lazy cow! Apart from the poor eating this week, that’s also two long walks that I have backed out of. Tut Tut.

In other news, I heard from the EDC early this afternoon with regard to the new group which is in the process of being set up. My first meeting is for next Thursday, 15th, at 11.50am. The meetings will be on a weekly basis, and will run for a total of seven weeks. Each meeting will last for approximately 2 hours. The lady I spoke to, Chantelle, was very nice, and very keen to get me on board. I really am looking forward to attending, though I don’t really know what to expect, or just what I am going to get out of the experience! Still, the way I am struggling right now, I shall be grateful for any help that I can get. And, as I have said before, it really would be great if I were able to make a good friend in the process….

… We shall see!

Anyway, that means three appointments in quick succsession next week as I’m due to see the GP on Wednesday, 14th, at 8.10am. Then, I have the above mentioned appointment with the EDC on Thursday, 15th. Followed by a 2nd appointment with Gilly, CPN, on Fridday, 16th. Phew! A busy week indeed for a self-proclaimed recluse, LOL.

Nothing else to report for the time being. No plans for the weekend ahead.

PS: My new top arrived from the catalogue today, though I’m not impressed with it so have promplty packaged it up ready for it to be collected and returned tomorrow! Let’sjust hope that I like the sandals…

My God. It has been sooooo hot here today. Even hotter than yesterday I’d say! Not that I am complaining mind you. I just love it when it’s like this, though I didn’t make the most of the whole day seeing as I was still in bed come noon.

Once I was *up and about*, I spent a good couple of hours going through my wardrobes, cupboards and drawers, looking for some summer wear now that it’s really heating up. Having emptied the whole lot, I was thrilled to come across a whole heap of *lighter* clothes that will be so much more suitable for the summer months. A lot of it still had the tags on from when I originally bought them, haha. Needless to say that I am thrilled. Because it’s all been stuffed away for the last few months, I decided to get it all freshened up by getting it all washed. Two machine loads later and I think we are done! At least with the heat today, the whole lot only took just over an hour to dry. Now it’s all ironed, airing and ready to wear. At least I should now be cooler for doing some more walking.

In other news, the eating hasn’t been too bad today, though I have been *picking* at stuff this evening. For some reason, I have a real craving for bread right now. The more I try and resist, the more tempted I am. Grrrr.

As for exercise, I haven’t bothered to take the dogs out yet as it’s been far too hot. The folks and I are going to have a game of cards and then I shall probably nip round the block with them once the sun has gone down.

Not much planned for tomorrow other than a trip up to ASDA. I am hoping that the weather will be as nice as it has been today. That way, I’ll get a nice long walk in.

Nothing else to report for the time being…

Once again, another late rise today being just gone midday when I wrenched myself out of bed! After a shower and some lunch, I decided to walk into town early afternoon merely for something to do.

The weather was absolutely glorious. So, so hot, though rather stupidly, I wore heavy trousers, a heavy coat, and a pair of rather cumbersome trainers with thick, boot socks. Bad mistake. Within 5 minutes of setting off, I was sweating profusely. Not a good look. Seriously though, I felt like I was going to pass out, though as hot as I was, I just couldn’t remove my coat. I only had a short top on underneath and there is no way that I would have felt comfortable with my huge but ‘n’ belly on show. Sweltering or not, at least a coat hides a multitude of sins! I did feel rather conspicuous though considering that fact that I seemed to be the only person in town wearing a coat. Tut Tut. Still, it convinced me that I now need to invest in some decent summer attire. Especially if I am planning on walking home from the hospital on a regular basis. For most of the evening, I have been browsing the online range from mum’s catalogue, though I was rather disappointed by the fact that there was very little that caught my eye. However, I did order a rather nice Tunic, plus a gorgeous pair of *Gladiator* sandals. Now all I need, is some nice, lightweight, cotton trousers. I may have a browse round ASDA when we go there on Thursday. Wish me luck!

As for the trip into town, I guess I was there under an hour all-told. Apart from paying a bill for mum, and depositing some more cash into my saving’s account, I didn’t do much else apart from window shopping. Still, it was nice to get out and about I guess, and it’s something that I wouldn’t/couldn’t have done last year!

In other news, I have managed to put yesterday behind me and have started afresh once again with the healthy eating.

So much for NOT getting obsessed. Huh?

No other plans for the week ahead apart from a trip up to ASDA on Thursday. Weather permitting, I shall be walking home which is something I really need to do. Given my low mood yesterday, walking home after our shopping trip was the last thing on my mind!

By the way, the folks and I changed our duvets over yesterday due to this rather summery weather we have been experiencing. It was sooo much more comfortable in bed last night having our summer duvets on. The winter duvets are now packed away in the roof for the next few months ahead. Now watch the weather take a turn for the worse! Haha

What a day! Well, foodwise I should say…

…honestly, I don’t think I have EVER eaten so much!

My Day’s Eating (thus far)

BREAKFAST
2 Bread & butter, 1 Banana
Muller Amore Luxury Yogurt Mediterranean Peach (150g)

(In the car home from ASDA)
ASDA Fresh Cream Raspberry Turnover
ASDA Milk Chocolate Honeycomb (140g)
ASDA Milk Chocolate Turkish Delight (150g)

LUNCH
2 Bread & butter, cheese & pickle sandwich
2 packets of hula hoops
ASDA Toffee Sundae (120g)
ASDA Strawberry Cream Horn

AFTERNOON
1 pack Hula Hoops

DINNER
HUGE salad
Corned beef
Salad cream
Large Scotch egg
Cheddar cheese
Mashed Potato/fried
Muller Amore Luxury Yogurt Walnut & Greek Honey (150g)

SUPPER
Another cheese & Pickle sandwich.

So, I think we can safely say that that’s the diet buggered for yet another day. Well and truly! Honestly, it feels as if I have done nothing but eat today and feeling as depressed as I have done (hence the major binge) I couldn’t even muster the energy to bring it all up again

I dunno. Will I ever learn?

No. Obviously not.

Not a good day. Not good at all.

PS: I will *try* and get around to reading and commenting on blogs sometime tomorrow. Right now, I just don’t feel in the mood…

I know. I know. EVERY DAY is a *lazy day* for me right now…

Seriously though, I spent another 12 hours sleeping last night. Not rising until gone midday today. After being *up* for all of an hour - just long enough to have lunch, and clear-up, etc. Can you believe, I was back in bed by 1.15pm and this is where I then remained until 4.15pm.

The poor ol’ dogs had been clamouring for their walk all day (apparently) and after some tea, and a shower, I didn’t get out with them for their first walk until 5.30pm and gone.

I dunno, I’ve just felt strange for the last 24 hours. Really low, but on top of that, headachy, tearful, shaky, and very unsociable. I think this is why I went back to bed. At least I was out of the folks way and not being ratty with them. I find that sleep is the best way of dealing with it for both me, and my parents!

Luckily, the walk did me some good and my mood was lifted somewhat by the bright, warm sunshine, and the fresh air. If nothing else, I guess it blew a few cobwebs away.

To be quite honest though, I’m not relishing the thought of going to bed tonight as I know that I am going to spend hours and hours tossing and turning until the early hours. Serves me right I suppose for having spent most of the day sleeping! I think I shall stay up reading, and or watching some DVDs.

As for tomorrow, I do hope that the weather will be as nice as it has been today. That way, I can hitch a ride with the folks up to ASDA, and then (hopefully) enjoy the walk home.

Other than that, I have absolutely nothing planned for the week ahead, though I am hoping that I will hear from the EDC within the next few days. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that this new group really be hugely beneficial for me right now.

As for the evening, no cards tonight as dad and I are currently enjoying “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” on BBC 1. It doesn’t matter that we have both seen it tons of time before. Honestly, this is still the best one of the lot! Besides, one can never see too much of Harrison Ford in his ‘Indy’ guise. Phwoarrrr! And, as it finishes at 10pm, I may just walk the dogs again - just around the block. They seem to really enjoy their last walk of the day.

Today’s appointment with Gilly, the CPN, went really well. In fact, I had forgotten just how much I liked her. Although this is only our second meeting to date, I really do feel positive about how things may well pan out.

The appointment only lasted around 30 minutes, though we managed to cover a lot of stuff in a relatively short space of time. Also, I am pleased to learn from Gilly, that someone has been desperate to get hold of me from the EDC. Apparently, there’s a new group in the process of being set-up, and a lady from the EDC has been keen to get hold of me to see if I would like to attend. Gilly, knowing me, and my anxiety as she does, had told the EDC to hold off until she’d had an opportunity to speak to me herself. Turns out, this new group that’s due to start, is specifically for people suffering from a whole range of eating disorders, and those that suffer with anxiety and social phobia too. Obviously, I don’t know much else about it yet, but I am looking forward to the opportunity of meeting with other people that may have similar issues to me. Apart from the obvious benefits that could be gained, I am hoping that I may well make a friend or two in the process. Well, that’s what I would like to happen! Although I don’t think that I will ever be a *social butterfly*, I would like to make a friend or two now as I feel ready for that after almost 9 years of, self-imposed, solitary confinement!

The only other thing I do know, is that these groups are due to be held on a weekly basis, though I’m not sure how long each meeting will last.

Anyway, Gilly said that she would speak to the lady involved today, and that all being well, I should hear something within the next few days. As it’s a letter I shall be receiving, I guess it won’t be until early next week now.

As dad dropped me off at the hospital this morning, I had said to him not to wait for me as he would normally do, because I was determined to make the long walk home, and that is exactly what I did. It’s a fair old way, but as the sun was shinning, I really enjoyed the long walk home. I felt so positive about how today’s appointment went and I can’t tell you how much happy I felt.

However, since being home, my mood did drop somewhat this afternoon. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I feel positive about myself, and the prospect of having a future, it’s then when that little voice in my head starts to remind me of all the bad stuff in the past, and all the horrible things people did, and said to, or about me. It’s almost as if my head is saying “Don’t get too hopeful. Never forget that *they* were right, and that you’ll never get anywhere” etc, etc. I know it’s just the depression talking, but it does get hard to ever envisage a future for myself when my mind seems to be trying to sabotage everything good. I dunno. Something else to discuss with Gilly I guess.

Also, Gilly has asked me to keep a mood diary between now and our next meeting in two weeks time. So, I have now gone back to using the MoodTracker.com site, which was recommended to me by my good friend, Alison, some months ago. Although I stopped using it for a time, I think that it will be a useful tool right now.

So, all in all, a pretty positive appointment, and I am looking forward to developing the relationship between myself and Gilly, the CPN.

Right, nothing else to report for today. No plans for the weekend…

We’ve pretty much had it all today, though I have to say, mostly rain and freezing hail. Goodness, it’s the 1st May and here’s me having to wear gloves whilst out dog walking. Brrrrr. Where has the sunshine gone?

Anyway, changing the subject, today’s appointment went *okay* with the GP and that’s just about all I can say for it. Things haven’t been great mood wise over the last week - especially the last day or so. For some reason, I have been feeling quite low and tearful for much of the time. Today’s session with the Doc was a pretty teary one to be honest. Not a lot of chat going on from me. Mostly just tears! I just hate feeling so unresponsive, but this is how I feel right now. I have very little interest in anything other than simply getting through the day.

The Doc is now thinking about changing my antidepressants yet again. Although I didn’t voice my concerns, I must say that I’m really not too keen on the idea. Over the years, I have tried various antidepressants, of varying dosages yet nothing really seems to make a marked difference. I don’t know if it’s *just me*, but surely over the years, antidepressants must have a lesser, and lesser effect? As I said, maybe it’s just my own personal experience. I don’t know.

Anyhow, the Doc wants me to discuss it with the CPN tomorrow morning to see what she suggests. Maybe I’ll discuss it more with her….

I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow’s appointment, but hey-ho. I shall see how it goes. All being well weather-wise, I may just attempt the rather long walk home from the hospital. Maybe it will help to blow the cobwebs away!

Over the last couple of days, although things haven’t been great with the depression, I have managed to get out and about with the folks. Yesterday afternoon, we popped over to Trago Mills for a mooch, though I found it far too busy for my liking. After just 15 minutes of wandering about, I couldn’t stick it any longer, and had to go sit in the car whilst the folks finished off their shopping. I didn’t realise that they’d be gone for almost an hour, LOL. Feeling thoroughly miserable anyway, I can’t say that I relished being stuck in a car for almost an hour with freezing cold hailstones pelting the car non-stop. Blah!

After Trago, dad kindly drove me over to our nearest Argos store, which was a further 7 miles on from Trago. I was able to collect my new laptop table, which dad assembled yesterday afternoon for me. I love it! It’s so much easier than trying to balance the laptop on my knee. I don’t know how I ever managed without it.

As for today, our new suite arrived this morning - 7.30am I hasten to add! It’s so comfy and it fits in with the lounge far better than our old suite ever did. Now the walls are freshly painted, the new carpet is laid, plus the HUGE rug that the folks bough over Trago, well, everything really is beginning to look homely at last!

Dad started the papering this afternoon, though due to one thing and another today (appointments and shopping, etc.) he really hasn’t been able to do anything more than one wall. It’s looking great though and you can certainly envisage how the whole room is going to look when completed! I can’t wait.

After my appointment this morning, the folks and I stopped off at ASDA where I treated myself to a huge bunch of grapes, a stack of magazines, plus a couple of new DVDs. Having dumped my bags in the car, I then enjoyed a rather nice walk home through the park. Luckily for me, I got home without getting too wet. Bonus!

Right, I think that’s all my boring news for the time being folks….

Is there such a thing? Honestly, the more sleep I get, the more I want!

Having stayed up in bed watching a DVD until just gone midnight, and apart from a few visits to the loo, can you believe that I slept solidly until just gone 1.35pm today? Yikes! I didn’t even feel like getting up then, but having seen the time, I thought that I *should* rouse myself before Monday was over altogether! Haha.

Seriously though, even *I* amaze myself at times with the amount of sleep that I can get. Mind you, I have ALWAYS been this way.

Honestly. The folks have done a day’s work before I get myself moving

In other news, things are really cracking on with the lounge, and having laid the underlay, and carpet yesterday, there’s just a bit of trimming to do. Other than that, there’s one wall of painting left to do (dado rail, skirting and cupboard door) then it’s just a case of papering above the dado rail. Talking of which, whilst I was languishing in bed, the folks had been out shopping, and stopped off at the local DIY shop to pick up their chosen wallpaper. Dad’s going to start papering tomorrow, or possibly the day after.

Tomorrow evening (late) dad and I are going to have to put our old suite out on the drive as the Council are collecting it early Wednesday morning. We have to put it out the night before, because the Council collect from 6am onwards.

Talking of Wednesday, I also have my appointment with the GP at 11.05 am (for some reason, I thought my appointment was for tomorrow, Tuesday. Doh!). This could be slightly problematic *if* the suite hasn’t been collected by that time as it means dad wont be able to get the car out of the garage. Not to worry I guess. It means that I shall just have to walk. That’s all. At least it’s all down hill. I think mum’s going to come along too as she wants a few bits and pieces in town so I think we will do a bit of shopping first before making our way to the Surgery. Also, I want to deposit another £50 in my savings account

In the afternoon, I am hoping that we will be popping over to Trago Mills for a few bits and pieces, and then onto Liskeard so that we can call into the HUGE Argos store that’s there. I am hoping to treat myself to laptop table. At the moment, I am using a laptop tray, but once we get the new suite, I think that it will be better to have a proper, functional table. Anyway, THIS is the table I am after.

Other than that, there’s nothing else planned for the week apart from my visit with the CPN on Friday. I have only seen this nurse on one other occasion, so at least I know who I am seeing. I’m not quite sure what to ecpect from these appointments though and I don’t know how things work with a CPN. Still, I am set to find out I guess.

As for tonight, after the the soaps have finished, I think that folks and I will have our usual game of cards, and then I will be off to watch a film in bed. The Woodsman is on Ch4 at 11.50pm - 1.25am and I plan to get stuck in. I’ve not seen it before which is a novelty, LOL. Aside from that, it stars Kevin Bacon who I am a HUGE fan of so that more or less sold it from me, haha. Roll on bed time!

That’s all for now folks